Girls, your father has broken me.

In your life, you will know that on many, many Sundays of the year we have a thing. A thing like most other people in the United States. We watch football.

I will admit. I used to hate football. I hated the game. I hated watching it. It made very little sense to me.  I would complain about my dad and brother hogging the tv all Sunday long. A lot of times I got my way and switched it to a musical on TCM or AMC.  It took me years to fully realize just how long you could watch football on any given Sunday. That’s how little I knew about it. I didn’t even know the Sunday tv schedule. I was a master avoider.

And then I met your father. And then I married your father. And since I married your father, I had to live with your father. And do you know what your dad loves to do? Watch sports. (As it turns our your uncle and papa do too, but your nana and I were forces to be reckoned with on a Sunday afternoon with a remote.)

So in an effort to be a good wife, I “allowed” football on Sunday. And do you know what football on Sunday turned into? College football on Saturday. And do you know what college football on Saturday turned into? Monday night football. And then someone came up with the genius idea of football on Thursday nights, too. And do you know what all of this football eventually leads to? A broken mother.

Girls, I am your mother, and I am a recovering footballphobic. I will even willingly turn on football without your father in the room. Here are the top seven reasons why I now embrace the football.

1. Football means fall. I love fall. I love the crisp cool weather. The turning of leaves. The sense of something new like the beginning of the new school year. I love buying new school supplies (who doesn’t love a brand new notebook and pen collection? and all those ways to organize – it’s awesome! I’m also a recovering teacher, can you tell?).
2. Football means fall part 2. Do you know what else is great about fall? The food. I can finally start making soups and stews again. Hot totties and cinnamon sticks galore. And after months of thinking about swimming suits, I can now think of sweaters and jeans and scarves. Comfort food, here I come! So if football = fall, fall must = football. And if I love fall, therefore I love football. (It’s some sort of property – ask your dad.)
3. Football means family. It’s what we do now. Football happens on Sunday and Sunday is the universally known day for family (although life has been encroaching on it for years now – we have to fight it). It’s the day that I have always reserved for rest and time for family, and I don’t see that changing for the foreseeable future.  Football happening on Sunday also will not change in the foreseeable future. Your father has compromised on a lot of things in his life. And while I’ve compromised a lot, too, I knew that there was no breaking this football habit of his. Might as well get in the spirit. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
4. Football commentary is awesome. I don’t mean the actual commentators who do this for a living. I have little to no use for them. All they do is give out actual facts and figures. I mean my own personal commentary. “Seriously, down the middle never works. They get like .5 yards. What’s the point?” “Seriously, why are all of these manly men ok with the term ‘down the middle’?” “How was no one concerned about concussions in a sport that expects you to beat the crap out of each other until 2015?” “Clearly he didn’t want it enough. If you touch it, you should catch it. That’s just being lazy.” I could probably keep going, but everyone’s sake I’ll leave it at that in print. You’ll get to experience all of my witty commentary real time, which is even better! I’m guessing it’s going to be one of the things that will embarrass you the most when you bring friends over because the commentary doesn’t stop at football. Oh no. Lots more sports. Lots more commentary.
5. Football means impressing people. Now I’m not the person who really knows anything about sports in general (I mean I played them as a kid and get the general concept, but it’s not my first choice of entertainment). But watch enough football and things just start to seep in when you’re not paying attention. It’s like osmosis. And when my students are least expecting it, or at a party with football loving adults (do we go to those?) I can bring out a football analogy or anecdote and they’re pretty impressed. At least I think they are. At least they should be. Shouldn’t they? Don’t they know I’m a recovering footballphobic?!
6. Football means nostalgia. Now your dad is not big on the nostalgia, which means I’m totally re-appropriating this sport for my own good (we’ll have lots more discussions about re-appropriating in the future). Football means college. And tailgating. And thoughts of reliving our time together at school. And thoughts of how your dad really started to become a great griller which ultimately led to his hobby of cooking which ultimately led to my extra poundage. But back to college – it reminds me of our first years together, and I get all schmaltzy thinking of young love and the beginning of life together and our first big party together with my family and our first apartment together and I could keep going. Sigh. I love football.
7. Football means non-stop tv on a Sunday. Which means that while everyone else is actually focused on the game, I get to read my book without any interruptions. And that is the real beauty of the game.